Today I discuss a very sensitive matter, so sensitive that I run the risk of losing a few friends in the process. Those who know me are alive to the fact that I am soft spoken. Well, I am not complaining but when I am engaged in discussions with those whose speech travels faster than lightning, I always lose. So what better platform to share my thoughts than this one?

I know when I talk of breaking the chain we all think of multiple concurrent relationships, yes, that campaign. By all means, that chain should be broken but that is not my main concern today. I have observed over the years, a disturbing trend in our culture, of parents who make it their career to depend on their children as soon as they start working. I call it role reversal because this parent will, with immediate effect retire from parenthood and look to the child to provide for them. It does not matter how much the child earns or what they plan to do with their lives. The sad reality is that most of the time, it is just a meager salary that cannot sustain the child itself. Now, with a view to impress their parents, most children will put their lives on hold until they receive their retirement package, on average at age 60. With the package, they try to start a life but its not enough so they too look to their children and the cycle goes on and on. A vicious cycle that perpetuates poverty.  This may seem exaggerated but its the reality on the ground.

How many heart-wrenching stories have we heard of mothers-in-law who hate their daughters-in-law because they are perceived to be eating money that should have been directed to them. Whether the daughter-in-law herself is gainfully employed is immaterial.  How many children dread calls from their parents fearing that the call will drain their last thebe ? Before I suffer Jesus’ fate, I am not encouraging children to live in luxury while their parents live like paupers.  I am just saying no parent is eligible for retirement .  Parenthood is a lifelong commitment that has no ending, it is a legacy.  Parents should support their children every stage of their lives, financially or otherwise. Even in Setswana we say mmangwana o amuwa le a sule.

I urge my generation to rise up and break the chain.

A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children…Proverbs 13:22