Bullying is an old phenomenon. The Oxford dictionary describes a bully as a person who deliberately intimidates or persecutes those who are weaker. The Wikipedia defines it as  the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others, which  behavior is often repeated and habitual.I must confess that when I was growing up , I dreaded the day I would start secondary school due to talk of ‘treatment’, a term that was used to describe abuse of new students. Those who do not belong in the ‘tswana medium movement’ may not relate. The new students were subjected to harsh, inhumane treatment as a form of welcome. How ironic! I am glad when I finally started form 1 I received a proper welcome. This piece is no expert opinion but just a dedication to the memory of my beloved nephew, Aobakwe Segaetsho.

Aobakwe was beaten by his school mates after he sat for his standard 7 examinations. Like a sheep to the slaughter, he kept quiet about his ordeal. His mother only noticed when his arm started swelling, later breathing complications and excruciating pain, culminating in his untimely demise. Never in my life had I imagined that bullying by school mates could take a life. I later learnt, with a heavy heart, that it was nothing new. Apparently there has been such cases before and sadly, we will continue to experience this if we do not rise up as a society to stop this violence.After this tragedy we all wondered how we could have missed the signs that our child had been bullied all along.I stumbled upon this on the internet  by Michele Borba ;

Here are possible warnings that a child may be bullied and needs your support. Of course, these signs could indicate other problems, but any of these warrant looking into further.  Every child is different and any child can have an “off” day, so look instead of a pattern of behavior that is not typical for your child.
1. Unexplained physical marks, cuts, bruises and scrapes
2. Unexplained loss of toys, school supplies, clothing, lunches, or money
3. Clothes, toys, books, electronic items are damaged or missing or child reports mysteriously “losing” possessions
4. Doesn’t want to go to school or other activities with peers
5. Afraid of riding the school bus
6. Afraid to be left alone: wants you there at dismissal, suddenly clingy
7. Suddenly sullen, withdrawn, evasive; remarks about feeling lonely
8. Marked change in typical behavior or personality
9. Appears sad, moody, angry, anxious or depressed and that mood lasts with no known cause
10. Physical complaints; headaches, stomachaches, frequent visits the school nurse’s office
11. Difficulty sleeping, nightmares, cries self to sleep, bed wetting
12. Change in eating habits
13. Begins bullying siblings or younger kids. (Bullied children can sometimes flip their role and become the bully.)
14. Waits to get home to use the bathroom. (School and park bathrooms, because they are often not adult-supervised, can be hot spots for bullying).
15. Suddenly has fewer friends or doesn’t want to be with the “regular group”
16. Ravenous when he comes home. (Bullies can use extortion stealing a victim’s lunch money or lunch.)
17. Sudden and significant drop in grades. (Bullying can cause a child to have difficulty focusing and concentrating.)
18. Blames self for problems; feels “not good enough”
19. Talks about feeling helpless or about suicide; runs away.

I would like to urge parents to also monitor the behaviour of their children to see if they are not raising bullies. Be weary if your child is always making fun of others and exhibits violent behaviour. As parents we are often over protective of our kids, we end up being blind to their undesirable character. However, we may be raising monsters unawares.The education system could also do more in ensuring that the schools are not breeding places for abusers. A school bully may in future be a robber, an abusive spouse or a criminal. In Setswana we say lore le ojwa le sale metsi in this context meaning we should correct our children while still young.