Motherhood is bliss. Oh, you will enjoy being a mom. Yeah, right! Wait until you climb on the bandwagon.

Mama!mama!mama!

No one warns you that you will have to answer to screams, shrieks, cries of ‘mama’ every second, at times, just for the fun of it.

Bye-bye me, myself and I.

Do they tell you that you have signed up for a lifetime of sacrifice? I doubt. In their first few years, they will escort you to the loo and that is non-negotiable.

Love shopping? Let me break it down for you. You will get into a shop planning to renew your wardrobe, only to get out carrying shopping bags with tiny clothes and that is, on the rare occasions that you shop on your own.

Relaxing at home is almost impractical. Try locking yourself in the room and they will knock loud and hard persistently until you abort your mission. When you sit on the couch, they sit on you. Know the subtle rules-you exist for them.

Are you career-driven? That sounds very easy when you have no kids. Once they are here, your career choices have to accommodate them. Just recently, one young mother confided in me that she had to forego her demanding engineering job for sales to cater for her kids. A lot of working mothers fantasize about being stay -at- home moms to give their kids the best foundation. Easier said than done. Stay-at-home moms have their own challenges. It is therefore advisable that when one quits their job, it should be well thought – out such that issues of depression do not come into play.

Motherhood no doubt comes with sacrifice. A mother will stay in a loveless or abusive relationship because she wants to protect her kids. She doesn’t want them to be broken by separation so she sadly retreats to unhappiness. In Setswana we say mmangwana o tshwara thipa ka fa bogaleng. She literally takes a bullet for her young.

Jack of all trades

Are you a mother? Congratulations! You are now jack of all trades. There is no excuse. You are a certified counsellor and lifetime coach. You are accountable for your children’s good deeds and mischief. You are their nurse and protector. They will come to you with all sorts of questions. In their eyes you are an expert at everything, omniscient even or shall I say a demi god. Of course at one point they will think they know better, which will be shortlived. Needless to say, a mother is a lifetime consultant.

It is still bliss

After all is said and done, motherhood is still beautiful. What do they say about beautiful things? Yes, not all that glitters is gold. Well, this is just me being silly. The beauty of carrying a child and holding it in your hands the first time – that is gold! The beauty of watching the precious thing grow is just amazing. All the hugs and kisses and that feeling of being genuinely loved- gold! All the other challenges help one grow as they introspect and better themselves. Motherhood is a precious gift.

Of course, a mother needs help, it’s a mammoth task. There is no manual, you learn as you go along. A mother needs a good support system, a partner, family , reliable friends and above all God for those days she feels like a failure for she will undoubtedly experience those moments. They say it takes a community to raise a child and I couldn’t agree more.