“Happy international men’s day guys,” read my message to the men in our watsapp group. My kind gesture went unnoticed. In fact, the most I could get was a “thanks but no thanks.”

“Ke leboga eng o sa bua sepe jaana? Kana o kwadile ko blog? (Why should I thank you when you’ve not said anything? Or you’ve shared on your blog?”retorted the only friend who responded, as if he knew how half -hearted I was.

“Well, I couldn’t say much because I wanted to avoid controversy,” I responded, truthfully.

To be honest, I had just noticed the day through a few social media posts. Why isn’t there so much hype around men’s day? Why is it so hard for us to celebrate our men? These are the questions we grapple with today. Sadly, the women are hurting, they no longer feel safe around men. The past two months have seen a rise in gender based violence in Botswana. A number of women, including my colleague, were murdered by their lovers. Rape cases are on the rise, not to mention other crimes, where women and children fall victim. How do we then celebrate ‘monsters’?

I’m grateful I sent my halfhearted wish. I’m also grateful for the conversation that ensued, for I wouldn’t have given this situation much thought. Yes, the women are bleeding but the same goes for men. Their outrage appears like a cry for help. Therefore, I figured it wouldn’t hurt so I shared the following post on my Facebook page:

After my post, which didn’t get much attention either, one question kept lingering- are there no good men? Our bleeding hearts have led us to label men as trash. It’s sad that even mothers are scared to entrust fathers with their daughters. That notwithstanding, I know good men, many good men, some of whom are found in my watsapp group- where I wrote my half-hearted wish.

I immediately put pen to paper and blogged about my two friends. I felt a strong urge to brag about them and tell the world that real men exist. I have known them since high school so I safely call them my brothers. In a world where the fear of God is not fashionable, they have chosen this path. The Bible says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 9:10). In their quest to impress God, they have an obligation to love, in fact they are commanded to love. How do you deliberately hurt someone that you love?

I am also grateful that I was very close to my late father . I shudder at the thought of fathers who molest their daughters, driving women to a complete repulsion of men. Mine was my friend, hero and teacher. He was warm and too soft at times, to the extent that people took advantage of him. My father was a good man.

Shall I talk about my husband? For the fourteen years that we have been married, he’s never raised his hands to beat me. I do not get shouted at, not that I never drive him crazy. I can be a handful, I know for sure, but he chooses not to, because I am married to a good man.

Women, have you ever been assisted by male strangers when you were stranded? They have stopped their cars and helped me with tyre punctures in the bushes. They have given me rides in their cars without taking advantage of me. Who’ll run to assist you when you drop your things? A man, right?

It is therefore my submission that good men exist. Yes, the bad apples are making the loudest noise and polluting our world. However, we need to give praise where it’s due. May the good men stand and be counted. Please replicate yourself and outnumber the renegades.