In two days my husband and I will celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary. How time flies! I’ll tell you why- because it doesn’t seem like 17 at all! And also, that’s because every year in marriage is literally a new year. It’s like navigating a meandering road 😉. I’ll try and break that down in the next few paragraphs.

Marriage is a commitment

This may sound cliché but it’s the truth. Marriage is a legally binding agreement and just like anything else that falls into this category, there will be days you wish marriage away but you won’t up and leave. You are bound! It’s a process. In my culture, you’d have to inform the parents, then long consultations ensue, during which you may decide you still wanna stay married after all😀.

Marriage is an entire course on forgiveness

You will learn to constantly forgive in marriage, and be forgiven of course – unless if you are the epitome of perfection 😉. Unfortunately people fall short and therefore we forgive and forgive and forgive… like Jesus would.

One Pastor says if you don’t forgive people, you are proud. You are confident that you never wrong anyone. I dug deep within me and found this to be true.

Mistakes are different, the gravity may not the same. By all means, don’t condone abuse and end up paying with your life.

Marriage is beautiful

No lie detected! It’s beautiful to get home to someone you love. Someone to share your day with- your wins and worries to cheers, encouragement and comfort. Ladies, it’s beautiful to have someone to zip up that dress, change light bubbles and do all these other things you don’t wanna do. Marriage brings out your femininity. For lessons on femininity you might wanna read Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin.

Don’t lose yourself

This one is for you fellow sisters 👯‍♀️. You just adore your family! You would die for them, literally. So you put them first, in everything! You work yourself to death to ensure that all is well with them – that they are clean, fed and dressed. Meanwhile, you also have yourself to take care of but no, you are unavailable! All your energy and resources have been expended in service. Bravo! You are a superhero!

Save some love for you superhero! You need you. You cannot fill from an empty cup. Take a leaf from the brothers, they are big on putting themselves first. Just add a little dose of selfishness to your routine and self-love.

Love doesn’t die

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard people say that love dies in marriage. It doesn’t fam, you kill it! It’s the expression of love that dies- because love is much deeper than your feelings. It’s not circumstantial. It’s rooted, it isn’t blown by every wind that comes. That is why it has to be defended, protected and nurtured. Love is a beautiful thing. It is not self seeking, it covers a multitude of sins, it’s patient…[1 Corinthians 13].

17 years later, I still love my husband, maybe even more than the first time I discovered I did. Love grows and evolves with years.

Do unto others what you’d want them to do for you

Straight out of Scripture! Someone said you don’t bring your 50% into marriage. You bring 100%, your spouse the same measure as well. It is not a competition! We complement each other. We both bring our best!

Give without expecting anything in return. Do it because it’s in your nature. Love unreservedly. In fact, be a fool😁. Give it your all and don’t allow yourself to become different just to spite the other person for their deeds/misdeeds.

You need God

The God-factor cannot be overstated. God is the author of marriage. He holds the manual. The wisdom you need to navigate marriage is found in him. He will guide you.

I thank him for joy and all the good things he does for us. I cry to him when I’m overwhelmed. He shuts me up when I want to be spiteful and vengeful. I mean, we owe it all to him!

I could go on and on but I’m just grateful for my 17 years of marriage. As God keeps us, I will share more.